Conscious Thought
by bailey1ak
Summary: Major Evan Lorne did something he couldn't take back, but he was finding that he might not want to. Pre-ship Lorne/Keller
1. Absentmindedly

_**A/N: **__First attempt at a Lorne/Keller story. The scene here in the first chapter popped into my head and the subsequent chapters are just the fallout. _

_Thank you to Vana1970, you've become such a good friend. Your beta work on this is exactly what I was looking for._

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: None that I can think of, set early Season 2. For this story Lt. Laura Cadman is stationed on Atlantis.

* * *

1 – Absentmindedly

It'd been an accident… a complete slip of the mind, an auto-pilot thing really. The problem was he wasn't sure where it'd come from. More importantly, here he was pacing his room unsure what to do about it. Should he apologize to her? Maybe pretend as if it hadn't happened?

Was she upset about it or laughing at him right now, knowing he hadn't meant it? Because he hadn't meant it, he was _sure_ he hadn't meant it.

Major Evan Lorne sat down on his bed and immediately flopped onto his back. The fact that this was stressing him out was probably a pretty good hint it really did mean something, but he didn't want to deal with the _what _just yet. Lorne knew he was procrastinating and he should get to the mess hall for dinner before they ran out of anything edible.

Evan's mind wandered back to breakfast that morning. He'd been eating breakfast with the usual gang, his team plus Lt. Cadman and Dr. Keller. It was odd how it was always the six of them eating and teasing each other about anything and everything, nothing seemed to be off limits.

Lorne had first started eating with his team before missions, just after they'd become a team. Within a few weeks Lt. Cadman could be seen at their table pretty regularly. She and his team member Capt. Jacobs had been good friends from their days working at the SGC. Dr. Keller and Lt. Cadman had become the best of friends in a very short time and the rest was history as they say.

Most of the banter was related to his guys trying to convince Keller to set them up with nurses and other staff in the infirmary. The other major topic was bragging about having to rescue Colonel Sheppard's team from their latest mission. Keller and Cadman made it a point of regularly knocking them down a peg, reminding them of their own missions gone awry.

Evan let his eyes drift shut for a moment, reliving the moment this morning at breakfast and trying to figure out what in the hell had happened.

"_You boys have a mission this morning?" Keller asked the group at the table. Although Evan was sitting next to her and his team across from her, he knew she was asking all of them. Keller and Cadman had gotten into such a habit of referring to them as 'the boys', that in retaliation they'd started calling the duo, 'the girls'._

"_Yes ma'am," Lt. Sanchez agreed grinning at her, "get to take a Jumper for this one."_

_Evan shook his head in amusement, Sanchez loved taking the Jumper out and always called 'shot-gun' the minute he crossed the threshold of the Jumper bay._

"_Hopefully that means it'll be harder for you all to get into trouble," she grinned back at them. "Laura should be back today from their overnighter and once she's cleared her post mission physical we planned to eat dinner then veg out till the movie tonight." _

_Atlantis held a movie night once a week. They were limited to what the personnel had on hand and thus the movies were a very wide variety and some nights drew only a small crowd because of the obscurity of the movie. It was still something to look forward to once a week. They just had to show up and supply their own snacks. _

"_Wonder what movie?" Lt. Jeffries piped up. _

_Jennifer squinted at the ceiling, thinking, "It's that one with the cars that turn into robots."_

"Transformers_… yes," Jeffries exclaimed._

"_Guys," Jenn murmured with a small shake of the head as she finished up the last of her breakfast._

"_Well," Sanchez began as he stood up, "we gotta go gear up for our mission. See you at the Jumper, boss," Sanchez threw over his shoulder as the team gathered their trays and departed with him._

"_I should go too," Lorne said with a hurried laugh. "If I wasn't the boss, I wouldn't get a good seat in that Jumper."_

_Lorne stood and pushed in his chair next to Jennifer, "You're bringing the popcorn, right?"_

"_With lots of butter," she agreed smiling up at him from her chair. "You're bringing some of the chocolate you've been hording?"_

"_Sounds like a fair trade," he chuckled as he picked up his tray, "got to go." Lorne leaned down and gave Jenn a quick kiss as he turned and headed out of the mess hall._

Lorne groaned, it hadn't even really been a kiss, more of a quick peck… what you saw seasoned couples do in parting all the time. Thank god the team had left and Cadman was gone, he couldn't imagine how long it'd take for the ribbing to cease if they'd witnessed his absent minded gesture.

Evan slowly rose from his bed and straightened his clothes. Hopefully he'd killed enough time that his team and the girls had decided he was going to be a no show. He frequently showed up late due to meetings and such so it shouldn't be too conspicuous.

* * *

"So where's your fearless leader?" Cadman sarcastically asked the boys. They'd all been eating for a bit now and Lorne hadn't made his usual appearance yet.

"Maybe he heard it was beef stroganoff night and decided to skip it," Jacobs guessed aloud finding his own helping lacking in the flavor department.

"He was kinda quiet today during the mission," Jeffries added, "maybe a little under the weather or something."

"Resting up for popcorn and _Transformers_," Sanchez speculated aloud with a grin, he really liked tonight's movie.

"He _is_ getting rather old," Cadman teased, "if he hopes to make it a late night, he may need that nap."

"Feeling kind of brave without the boss-man here," Jacobs teased back.

"Maybe he and the Doc have the same bug," Jefferies noted as he pointed toward Jennifer using his fork.

"Hey girlie," Cadman began, "what's with you tonight?" Laura watched Jenn continue to pick at her food absently, obviously not hearing Cadman's words.

"Jennifer," the red head called loudly, leaning in toward her deaf friend.

"Hey," Jenn responded, looking at Cadman and tingeing a little pink in embarrassment when she realized the boys were looking at her too. "Sorry guys, kind of zoned out there. Long day," she said by way of excuse.

"Was Ryder working today," Jeffries asked wagging his eyebrows at Jennifer.

"As a matter of fact, yes, Nurse Ryder was working today," Jenn replied sarcastically, "and before you ask the next part… no, she didn't ask about you."

Jennifer watched his crest fallen face for a moment and had to relent, "But she did mention she was looking forward to the movie tonight."

"Ah Doc," Jenn heard drawled from behind her and she tried not to stiffen, "you know you shouldn't encourage him."

Jennifer busied herself with her tray; leaning a little bit forward hoping her hair hid any blushing she was sure was evident. She wasn't ready to face Evan yet, at least not in front of a crowd.

Jenn faintly heard the guys giving Lorne a bad time about his limited dinner of an apple and the fact that popcorn wasn't a food group, but what had her attention right now was Cadman's firm grip on her arm.

"We need to talk," Laura warned with a growl, close to Jennifer's ear.

Jennifer tried to shrug her shoulder's absently, but nothing got by the explosives expert.

"We're going to go make popcorn and get ready for the movie," Cadman said airily as she stood and gathered her tray. "Maybe we'll see you boys there."

Jennifer was glad for the excuse to leave, but was dreading the moment her best friend got her alone.

* * *

Jennifer had to give Laura credit, she didn't ask one question all the way back to Jenn's room. However, the moment the swishing sound of her door closing ceased she turned to Jenn.

"What is going on with you?" the red head demanded, hand on hip.

Jennifer just laughed lightly, although a little nervously as she moved to her closet to find clothes to change into. Keller was sure the conversation would be easier in comfy clothes.

"Don't you dare try to say nothing, either," Laura insisted when Jennifer still hadn't said anything after a full minute.

Jennifer continued to go about picking out clothes and then proceeded to change while her friend maintained her huff, across the room.

"Or claim to be tired or wore out, your 'long day' won't work with me."

When Jennifer was finished dressing she went to a cupboard in the room and grabbed out several bags of popcorn and moved to the microwave.

"Hey," Cadman cried in frustration, "stop ignoring me."

"I'm not ignoring you, I was hoping you'd wear yourself out and maybe I'd get my best friend back."

"I'm still your best friend," Laura said in a huff. "I rant because I care."

"I know you care," Jennifer placated, "I just don't think I'm ready to talk about it yet."

Cadman looked at Jennifer's pleading eyes and took pity, nodding her head. She let out a sigh, "Is it about Evan?"

"Laura," Jenn admonished.

"What? You gotta give me something."

"Okay," Keller sighed, "yes, it has to do with Lorne." Jennifer switched out the bags of popcorn before turning around. She looked at Laura who had a goofy grin on her face and after a minute it started to unnerve Jennifer.

"You finally figured out you like him?" Laura blurted out. When Jennifer just stared at her in annoyance she continued, "He finally figured out he likes _you_?"

"Laura," Jennifer called out in frustration, "stop. Evan and I don't _like _each other, at least no more than you and he like each other."

"_So_ not true," the Marine exclaimed. "You two spark around each other something fierce. Part of me is envious even."

"Laura, that's not it. Without getting into it, we just kind of had a conversation that ended oddly and we need to clear the air." Jennifer stated vaguely as she put the last bag of popcorn into the microwave.

"I expect details and soon," Laura whined.

Jenn nodded her head in agreement.

"I'm serious. If I don't get details I'll just trick Evan into giving them to me," Laura warned.

The doctor sighed knowing her friend wasn't issuing idol threats. "You know, best friend isn't a 'til death do us part' type of relationship. I could put an add in the personals if needed."

"I'm the stalker type of best friend, I have skills and training, you aren't getting rid of me," Laura bragged.

"I know," Jennifer teased back with a sigh, as she grabbed the popcorn and headed for the door. "You coming, stalker, or do you want to give me a head start so you can practice your skills?"

"You're laughing now…" Laura warned her with a grin, glad to see Jennifer's whit returned at least. She'd been serious though. Someone was going to tell her what was up and soon.


	2. Recklessly

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

* * *

2 – Recklessly

Lorne wandered into the infirmary looking for Keller. She'd not been at dinner, Cadman had informed them that she'd had to pull a double shift. He worried she might be avoiding him but he hoped it wasn't the case. He felt like the whole stupid kiss goodbye thing was really growing into something huge and they should probably talk about it.

He spotted the Doctor in question across the floor. He moved up behind her and leaned in close, "Are you avoiding me?"

Jennifer held back a startled scream, but just barely, as she turned around and faced Evan. "It's not a good idea to sneak up on a doctor, especially at night when she's the only doc on duty. What would you've done if you'd given me a heart attack?"

Evan grinned, boy he'd missed her, "Is that the one where you give aspirin? Or is that for a stroke?"

Jenn gave the Major a glare that said she didn't find him funny, before turning back around to the chart on the counter and finishing her notations. She grinned just a little to herself. It was a little unnerving to be alone with him, not certain where any conversation would go and _so_ wanting to avoid talk about the other morning, but she'd missed him and his team.

Evan moved up beside her and leaned against the counter, "You didn't answer my question," he reminded her quietly.

"You've been out on missions the last couple of days. Beckett asked me to pull a double shift for some scheduling problems he was having. I'm not avoiding you."

"Good," Lorne uttered, not entirely convinced. "I was hoping the incident after breakfast a few mornings back wasn't making you uncomfortable. I still think we should talk about it. Can you spare a few minutes?"

"This isn't such a great time, Evan," Keller said, not quite meeting Lorne's eyes. "I don't want to talk about it at work. We're good though, we don't really need to talk." Jennifer was hoping that time would take care of the awkwardness and they'd be back to golden any day, at least that was the hope.

"I'll let you get back to work for now," Evan reluctantly agreed, "but I do think we need to talk about it… soon."

Jennifer looked at him and nodded, knowing he'd be persistent.

"Night Jenn," the Major said as he squeezed her elbow lightly before turning to go.

"Night Ev," she replied as she watched him leave.

* * *

Jennifer managed to avoid him for two more days. Between missions, work and sleep she'd remained elusive to him, but that was to end shortly. Evan was leaning against the wall just outside the doors to the infirmary waiting for her to get off work. He'd check with Beckett during dinner in the mess hall tonight and he'd readily told him Jenn would be off at about 10 pm.

He wasn't sure what exactly he was going to say, but he wanted the air cleared quickly. He could swear he was getting glares from Cadman and it was causing odd glances from his guys. When he sat down for dinner tonight, he was informed that he'd just missed her and he'd decided - enough was enough.

Evan had watched Dr. Biro enter the infirmary a few minutes earlier and knew the shift change would happen in a matter of minutes. And how creepy was it that the doctor who performed most autopsies in Atlantis had the graveyard shift?

Jennifer's voice calling out goodnights on her way out of the infirmary brought his wandering mind back to the present. He watched Keller take a few steps in his direction and he smirked when he watched her come to a startled stop as she finally noticed him lounging in the hallway.

"Good evening, doctor," Evan greeted her with a smile.

"Major," Jennifer acknowledged. "I'm guessing it's not a coincidence - you being in this hallway at the end of my shift."

"Not at all," he conceded.

Jenn gave a sigh of resignation, "Well… you might as well walk me home then. We can have this 'talk' you want there."

Lorne fell into step with her and within a few minutes the door to her room was closing behind them. Evan began pacing slowly, not even realizing he was doing so at first. He didn't know why being in her room made him nervous, it never had in the past.

Jennifer stood just inside her door and watched the Major pace. She couldn't think of a time they'd ever been ill at ease around each other. She'd hit it off with him and his team about as easily as she had with Laura.

"Evan, you can quit beating yourself up. I know it was an accident and that it didn't mean anything."

Although it's what he'd been hoping to hear, it didn't give him the type of relief he'd been expecting. "Completely," he agreed. "So does that mean you'll stop avoiding me?"

"I haven't been avoiding you, you conceited freak," she laughed at him. Maybe she'd been a little quick to say yes when Beckett asked if she'd take a few of the extra shifts, but he did need the shifts filled until Dr. Cole came back from her extended mission. "I didn't make up your mission schedule. You've been kind of busy lately, Ev." Jenn looked at him shrewdly; "Unless maybe _you've_ been avoiding _me_?" she teased him.

He finally relaxed a bit, "You're right, we've just been busy… and I have another mission tomorrow that's an overnighter too."

Jennifer was grateful to see him calming and his pacing had slowed to near non-existent. She couldn't help but tease, "Is that in case _this_ conversation doesn't go well?" she asked raising her eyebrows.

"You can never be sure how things will go when talking to a woman," he bit back sarcastically, trying and failing to hide his grin.

Jennifer took a step closer so she could playfully punch him in the arm and was rewarded with him pretending it hurt.

"I've actually done something similar before," Jenn started thinking that sharing might take the sting of embarrassment away. "I was away at college and you know how you get in the habit of talking a certain way to people." She watched him nod his head, but she didn't think she was explaining it quite right. "Well, I used to talk on the phone to my dad almost daily while I was at college. I think it kind of freaked him out to have his fifteen year old daughter living away from home."

"Completely understandable," Lorne interjected, following along with Jenn's story, not sure where it was going yet, but thankful things seemed to be on more solid footing.

"Well at the conclusion of each phone call I'd end it with 'love you, bye'."

Evan began to grin, beginning to see exactly where this story was headed.

Jennifer grinned back, embarrassed as she relived the moment, but enjoying sharing the memory with Evan. "I was talking one day to my financial advisor about my scholarships and such. When the conversation came to a close I found myself saying 'love ya, bye'."

She looked down at the ground and Evan was glad because he had a huge grin on his face he couldn't have hid.

"The worst part," she continued, "is that I still had to deal with him for two more years and I always wondered if he'd heard it and what went through his mind when he did? How long did he rehash that phone conversation? I know I did for months," she confessed wryly as she looked back up at Lorne.

She saw him grinning and trying to hold back a laugh. She had to grin with him. She knew part of it was from her story, but she also knew that part was from the adrenaline rush of this whole awkward moment they were in.

"I did learn something about you though, through this," Jennifer told him, a look of mischief in her eyes.

Lorne felt his chest tighten at her look, "What would that be?" he asked cautiously.

"You've been in at least one long term relationship."

The Major looked at her skeptically.

"At some point in your past you were comfortable with that parting gesture." Jenn wasn't sure why she didn't just say kiss, but she really hadn't wanted to.

"Still don't know what happened… I was saying goodbye and then…" Evan trailed off, the scene flashing through his mind once more.

"You kissed me," Jennifer finished for him, suddenly _wanting_ to label it since he seemed to be having difficulty doing so. What was wrong with her, they'd been doing better. Their old banter had only just shown itself in a glimpse of grins and here she was almost challenging him. She was glad he couldn't read her mind, she'd hate for him to know how often she'd really thought about the incident. Wondering at the cause and what thoughts ran through his mind immediately after. Were they similar to hers? She'd been embarrassment for him and concerned that he'd be worrying about her instead of concentrating on his mission.

"Look Evan," she tried to sound matter of fact, she wanted to completely ease his mind and keep the footing they'd gained previously. "It was just a kiss. Put it out of your mind, I've already forgotten about it."

"That wasn't a kiss," he denied, not sure why he was feeling defensive about it.

"_Okay_…," Jenn replied, feeling a little less on solid ground suddenly.

"That wasn't a kiss," Lorne insisted, "if it'd been a kiss you wouldn't have been able to forget it so easily." He realized after the words left his mouth how argumentative he was being. Wasn't forgetting about it what he'd been hoping for?

He dared to look at her and saw the confusion in her eyes and had to admit even he was having trouble following this conversation.

"I'm sorry, Evan," Jennifer began carefully, "I didn't mean to imply that…"

Lorne didn't let her finish. He took the two remaining steps into her personal space and pulled her into his arms quickly, kissing her hard.

Jennifer didn't know what hit her. One minute she is treading water in this conversation or argument, she really wasn't sure which it was, and the next Evan had claimed her lips, his embrace hard and unyielding.

Initially Evan was trying to prove a point, but when her lips began moving under his he lost all thought and just allowed himself to feel. As the feelings became more and more intense he broke off the kiss to catch a breath. Looking down at her lost expression and heavy breathing he finally came to his senses. What was he doing… and with Keller?

"So… umm," Lorne tried, pausing to take a breath, "yeah, maybe avoiding me was a good idea after all." Lorne looked around her room and when he failed to collect his thoughts he figured he just needed to get away from her, for both their sakes. "I should go… mission to prepare for."

Jennifer nodded, not trusting her voice. She watched him walk slowly to her door and exit. She wasn't sure how much longer she stood there after he left, but she did come to the conclusion that Evan was right, the incident a few mornings ago definitely wasn't a kiss.


	3. Contemplatively

**_AN: _**_Thank you everyone for the reading and/or reviewing. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

* * *

3 – Contemplatively

Jennifer got herself to bed and laid long into the night thinking about her conversation with Lorne trying to decipher what'd happened. She'd decided after going over it at least a dozen times in her head that she must've offended him by referring to the peck on her lips in the mess hall as a kiss. So he'd proceeded to demonstrate to her what a real kiss would've been like. It had to be a case of wounded pride didn't it? Men could be sensitive about that kind of thing.

There was a part of her she was trying to hold in check, the part of her that hoped it'd meant more. She hadn't thought of the Major in romantic terms before. Sure he was gorgeous, who could miss the solid, soldier's body. His personality was envious as well, good sense of humor, protective instincts and quiet strength. He had the respect of most of the Atlantis contingent, and the eye of many of the women.

Although after _that_ kiss she'd found herself beginning to re-examine their relationship. Laura seemed to think there was something more between them than friendship. She couldn't deny the kiss had definitely been _something_ and stirred some responsive feelings, but she wasn't sure what she wanted. Hadn't things been pretty near perfect before this?

Jenn groaned as she rolled over into her pillow and renewed her determination to quit thinking about the kiss. The worst part of all she decided was just how much harder it was going to be to face Lorne and the gang. Laura would know right away something was wrong and Jennifer didn't think she'd be able to look Lorne in the eye without blushing for quite some time.

She didn't doubt Evan would try to apologize when he got back from his mission. It was one of his honorable traits, the need to make things right. At least she had a day before she'd have to deal with that.

* * *

Cadman plopped her tray down on the table in the mess hall before sitting. "So, what's the deal with your boss?" she complained.

"Good morning to you too, Short Fuse," Lt. Sanchez returned with a laugh. "Yes, I slept well last night, and you?"

"I hate it when you call me that," Laura grumbled furrowing her brow before digging into the eggs and hash browns on her tray.

Lt. Jeffries chuckled at her, "And yet it's so fitting on mornings like this. What could possibly have happened to you in the short time you've been awake?"

"And where's your sidekick?" Sanchez added leaning back in his chair, his breakfast finished.

Captain Jacobs, who'd been quiet during the exchange, now got an evil glare from Cadman. "Hey, what'd I do?"

Laura ignored his question, "I radioed to tell her I was on my way to breakfast, but she just growled at me that it was her day off and to leave her alone so she could sleep."

"It is 0630, which is kind of early for a day off," Jacobs stated.

"I have the day off," the red head complained, "besides, Jenn's a doctor and since when do they sleep in?"

The boys were still looking at her like she was from Venus, so she tried a different tactic. "Have you noticed that she's been missing a lot of meals with us lately?"

"Yeah," Jeffries contemplated, "she's been busy," he said excusing it.

"Well, Lorne's been missing a few too," she pointed out, but they still didn't look like they were catching on to what she was pointing out. "I thought it seemed like Keller was acting… awkward around Lorne about a week ago. When I confronted her about it she said something about the two of them just needing to clear the air and not to worry about it."

Laura looked at the three across from her and saw that they were now beginning to grin at her and she sent back glares. They were not helping her mood and the frustration from it was making her think of ways to take it out on Jennifer as soon as she was done eating.

"I get it," Sanchez began, "your upset because Jenn won't tell you what she and the Major need to clear the air about." His statement was met with silence, so he prodded her, "Am I right?"

"Don't you three jar heads want to know what has the two of them avoiding each other?" Cadman ranted back at Sanchez.

He looked at his two team mates for help and found it in Jacobs.

"Actually, the boss has been acting a lot more reserved lately," the Captain agreed. "This morning he ate pretty quickly and said he'd meet us at the gate. I just figured being part of the administration and all that, he had a lot of things to do. You know… whatever it is that he and Sheppard do in that little office they share."

"Wonder what's going on between the Boss and the Doc?" Sanchez wondered aloud, sounding more curious now, which made Laura feel vindicated a bit.

"It could just be work related stuff," Jacobs commented trying to keep everyone grounded in reality.

"You don't think he finally made a move on her, do ya?" Sanchez speculated with a quick raise of his eyebrows, ignoring Jacobs completely.

"Doubt it," Jeffries replied, "I think she grooves on him too. Don't know why it would've caused an avoidance reaction?"

"Maybe," Jacobs tried again, "because it _isn't_ personal, but a work related issue, you morons."

"Told ya," Laura said triumphantly, "something's up. So what're we gonna do about it?"

Jeffries chuckled at her, "Not a damn thing. He is our superior officer and our team leader. We kind of enjoy the bit of relaxed regs we have with him and don't want to screw that up."

"Well, I know I can make Jenn talk," Laura assured them, "I was hoping you'd try and get him to talk during this mission… you know, guy bonding and all that while you're camping."

All three laughed at her, "Count me out," Sanchez laughed. "Interfere between the man who could make me clean the Jumper with my own tooth brush and the woman who can decide if I'm fit for duty." Sanchez scratched his chin and looked towards the ceiling like he was trying to make a decision, "Nope, I think I'll keep my nose out of it and let the two grown-ups work it out."

"Count me out too," Jeffries agreed, "but I wouldn't mind details if you find out anything good."

Laura noticed the other two looked like they wanted to agree with Jeffries and figured that if she did find out it was something more interesting than their boring old work, she might be able to get the guys help later. "We'll see," Cadman replied, not committing either way.

Captain Jacobs gathered up his tray and stood, his team mates following suite. "We have to get going or we'll be late for this mission." The men began to walk away, but Jacobs turned and threw back over his shoulder, "And be nice to the Doc, it's her day off."

Laura just smirked not promising anything.

* * *

Lorne called out a goodnight to his team as he took first watch for the night. He'd volunteered for the first watch, sure he wouldn't be finding sleep real soon anyway. It'd been a successful day taking supplies to the people on M3H-485. In turn they were bringing back several samples of minerals mined on the planet for the Engineering department to analyze for future resources.

It was a good mission in that it gave his team a day of hiking on a beautiful planet to and from the gate, about seven miles, without any worry about dangers from the planet or the people. Their only threat would be by gate, if one arose. Lorne was a little concerned about how they'd transport the minerals to the gate if the Engineers decided they were of great value, but not likely something that'd involve his team directly.

Thinking of his team, they'd acted a little oddly today but he couldn't quite put his finger on exactly what the odd part was. He'd caught a few long looks from his team mates and Jacobs had even asked him if he had a lot of paperwork and things to get caught up on when they got back. Evan knew he wasn't being his usual self and was sure his team was picking up on his contemplative mood.

Lorne let his mind drift to Jennifer as it had been doing most of the day. He tried to concentrate on his actions and what needed to be done to rectify the way he'd left things the night before. Like all of the other times though, he found it hard to focus on his behavior and the steps needed to make things right.

Instead he thought of his reaction to her return of the kiss. Evan knew he'd startled her, he'd startled himself with his actions, but part of him was pleased to note she hadn't been immune to him. After her initial shock had worn off she'd begun moving her lips under his and he'd felt her hands grab hold of the front of his shirt. It'd been all the encouragement he needed and the kiss had quickly escalated.

Evan shook his head trying to shake loose the memory he was caught in. He needed to focus on the why and how. At least he thought those were the questions. Why had any of this happened… were they attracted to each other? A week ago he would've completely denied it, had he been asked. He didn't know if she was attracted to him, but there was definite chemistry there.

The problem was Atlantis wasn't conducive to dating or figuring these things out without it playing out in front of everyone you knew. It was also a bit risky if, a month in, you decided the attraction was groundless. There were plenty of opportunities in the future to find yourself in some pretty awkward situations with that person. It kind of went double for the infirmary staff because, as part of a military team, he had to report there for post mission physicals several times a week. _Nothing more awkward than having your ex give you your post mission physical_, he chuckled quietly to himself.

No matter what though, the next time he saw Jennifer it was going to be awkward. He had to admit he was dreading it just a bit and was thankful for the delay this mission gave him.

* * *

_**AN2: **Its way past my bedtime now, but I'm going to try to get chapter 4 up later. It is a shorter chapter and shouldn't take long to fix up when I get the chance later. Thanks for reading._


	4. Relentlessly

_**AN: **Kind of a short chapter, sorry. It had a natural stopping point I needed to utilize._

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

* * *

4 – Relentlessly

Major Anne Teldy watched Dr. Keller sneak a peak over at Lt. Cadman. Teldy's team had just returned from a last minute escort mission that'd kept them away from Atlantis overnight. Lt. Cadman was receiving her post-mission physical from Dr. Biro, but her attention was clearly focused on Dr. Keller.

"Major, I think that wraps it up," Jennifer stated finishing up with the Marine's post-mission physical while stepping back.

Teldy smiled, "Thanks, Keller." She noticed the doctor looking with resignation back at Cadman. "She was a bit testy on this last mission," Anne nodded her head toward her team mate. "She was very anxious to get back here."

Jennifer offered a small smile, "Yeah, she was just getting ready to give me the third degree when she was called up for this mission. By the way, thank you for that, saved me a headache… at least for a day."

"The mission wasn't my call," Teldy said, dismissing the thanks, "looks like you won't be so lucky tonight though," she added with a chuckle as she watched Dr. Biro finish with the Lieutenant. Cadman hopped off the bed and began making her way across the infirmary toward them.

Jenn grinned at Teldy's observation. She'd always liked the wry sense of humor the Major had, "Yeah, but it gave me time to figure some stuff out before I had to talk to her."

"Good luck," Anne said with a wink as she walked away. Teldy knew Cadman wasn't easily derailed when something was on her mind, but the Lieutenant knew her rank and was never insubordinate. She was a very good addition to her team. Anne threw one more glance over her shoulder at Dr. Keller who was now talking animatedly with Cadman and shook her head. With the men to women ratio on Atlantis what it was, she may envy the close relationship between Keller and Cadman, but she was glad she wasn't in Keller's shoes right about now.

* * *

Jennifer finished blow drying her hair and couldn't think of any other excuse to linger any longer, locked in her own bathroom. She'd managed to put off any serious talk with Laura citing the need to shower so they could get to the mess hall for dinner. Jenn looked herself over one last time before exiting her bathroom.

"It's about time," Laura huffed, "I don't see why you had to shower just to go to dinner," she added.

Jennifer moved toward her bed where her best friend was sprawled looking beyond bored. "After working all day in the infirmary I find it relaxing and rejuvenating," she responded, smiling indulgently at Laura's testiness.

"So," Cadman began, done with all the idle chit chat, "what's got you and Lorne avoiding each other?" Laura moved to a sitting position indicating she was getting serious.

"Just jumping right in are we?" Jenn chuckled as she sat lightly on the bed near her friend, "no lulling me with friendly banter and then sneaking that into the conversation when my guard is down? I guess I should've expected more of a bombardment from a Marine explosives expert."

"You've made me wait over a week and I can't stand it anymore."

Jennifer didn't respond at first, gathering her thoughts together. She'd had almost two days to think about Evan's unexpected kiss and then hasty exit. Two days to decide what _she _wanted to do about it. Now she just needed to decide what she wanted to share with Laura.

"We're best friends, right?" Jennifer asked already knowing the answer, but feeling the need to remind the red-head.

"Yes," Laura answered, knowing by that question that this was going to be good.

"I've had friends before I considered my best friends, but never a best friend that also considered me _her_ best friend. Does that make sense?" Jennifer asked hoping Laura understood.

"Yes, we love each other and keep each other's secrets," Cadman responded impatiently. "Come on, spill it. You're killing me here."

"Okay, okay… about a week ago, Evan was leaving the mess hall. He said goodbye in parting, then leaned down and gave me a quick kiss before turning and leaving." Jennifer watched her friends face as the different emotions and questions raced through her mind.

With a huge grin Laura slapped at Jennifer's arm, "Lorne finally kissed you," she gleefully declared practically bouncing on the bed while in her sitting position.

"It was a parting peck, like you'd see seasoned couples do," Jenn clarified, wanting Laura to understand exactly what had transpired. "It was an absentminded gesture that he hadn't intended."

"So not really a _kiss_," Laura said, drawing the last word out, unable to hide her disappointment or the wince on her face.

"Now you sound like Evan!" Jennifer said grudgingly. It may not have been a good kiss, but the fact it was a kiss was the reason it had turned into such a… thing.

"You've talked about this with Evan?" the red-head asked astonished.

"We _are_ adults," the honey-blond replied indignantly.

"Still." Laura was impressed. "So you're both good?"

Jennifer scrunched up her face, "Not exactly." Jennifer peaked through squinted eyes at her friend.

Laura narrowed her eyes while looking at Jennifer expectantly.

"He kind of proceeded to show me what a real kiss _would_ be like and then left."

Laura had the goofiest grin on her face, "So the Major did finally kiss you. 'Bout time," she said enthusiastically.

"Hey," Jennifer glared at her last remark.

"What? Like you two haven't been dancing around each other the whole time. Did you like it? Did you kiss him back?" Laura questioned in rapid fire succession. "Is the Major a good kisser? I bet he is. Any man who looks that hot, has got to be a good kisser."

"Laura," Jenn interrupted her, exasperated.

"I need lots and lots of details, girl."

"That'll have to wait, it's time to go eat," Jennifer informed her as she stood to go. She wasn't ready to discuss the second kiss with Laura yet. She still got butterflies when she thought back on it.

Laura reluctantly followed suit. The girls left the room and walked toward the transporter. "Whatcha goin' to do about it?" the red head asked.

"Nothing," Jenn replied, knowing she was talking about the aftermath of the kiss more than the actual kiss.

Laura stopped in her tracks holding her arm out to stop Jennifer from walking any further. "What?"

"_Nothing_. I've been thinking about it. If Evan wants to do something about it he will. If he isn't into me he'll apologize and that'll be that," Jenn explained matter-of-factly.

"I hate that plan," Laura lamented. "Haven't you paid attention during any of those chick flicks you've made me sit through?"

"It's the best plan to make sure things revert back to the way they were," the young doctor assured her friend.

"You want things to go back to they way they were?" Laura asked incredulously as she followed behind Jenn toward the mess hall.

"If he doesn't like me in… well, _that way_… then yes," Jennifer responded. "I don't want to lose my friendships with him or his team. And don't try to argue with me about it. You and I both know it would be awkward."

Laura knew Jenn was right about the awkwardness, but she _so _didn't think it would go that way. "Doesn't sound like a plan at all," Laura complained as they turned into the mess hall and grabbed trays, "sounds more like you're giving up."

Jennifer had to agree, it did sound like she was giving up. Jenn had spent a long time thinking through this plan and knew it was the best one for her. Evan would come and find her as soon as he could tonight. He was the type of man who would feel bad for how he'd left things and it'd weigh heavy on him until he'd set it right. She loved that about him.

She hoped that either way she and Evan would regain their footing. She missed the easy, awkward-free friendship they used to share just a week ago… of course she'd give that all up to be kissed by the Major on a more regular basis.


	5. Purposefully

_**A/N: **This is the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who read this story, special thank you to those that took the time to review - my favorite thing to find in my email. _

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

* * *

5 – Purposefully

A few hours later Laura opened Jennifer's door, despite the doctor's protests that it was in fact her room and therefore her door to answer.

"Good Evening, Major Lorne," Cadman greeted, her eyes alight with mischief.

"Cadman," Evan responded tentatively, a little unsettled at Laura's exuberant greeting.

"Don't you look nice tonight," the Lieutenant teased as she took in the sexy man dressed in worn jeans and a dark blue t-shirt. "Did you just get back," she asked, taking in his still damp looking hair.

"Little while ago… yeah," he acknowledged, still standing in the hall, wondering if he should come back some other time.

His thoughts must've shown because the red head in front of him stepped back and waved him in the room. "So are you here to pick Jenn up for a date?"

"Laura!" Jennifer growled at the girl, embarrassed by her words.

"Just teasing, calm down. The Major's fresh from a shower and looking nice. Just reminds me of a guy all ready for a date." Laura gave Evan a wink, letting him know she was just trying to get a rise out of her friend.

"I wasn't joking the other day," Jennifer warned her teasing friend. "I think I even have the wording picked out. _SWF seeks new BFF. Non-military a must. No control freaks need apply. Must like the movie _The Notebook." Jennifer finished her rant giving Cadman a small smile and a slight nod toward the door.

"Alright, alright," Cadman huffed as she made her way to the door, with Jennifer following to make sure she left. "All you had to say is that you wanted to be alone. I'd have taken the hint," Laura finished, swiping the door open before turning and sticking her tongue out at Jennifer's appalled face. Cadman gave a parting wink to Evan who stood behind Jenn with a slightly amused look upon his face.

Jennifer couldn't help herself, she stuck her own tongue out at Cadman, glad the Major couldn't see her childish behavior before she swiped the door shut on Cadman's goofy grin.

Jenn stood with her back to Evan for another minute attempting to gather her thoughts as well as her nerve to turn around. Finally, with an exhale of her breath, she turned around and faced her guest. "She's a bit of a handful," Jenn commented lamely, crossing her arms in front of her to keep from fidgeting.

"Yeah, she is," he said with a grin that slowly turned into a laugh, "but a good friend, always fun and very loyal."

"What you really mean is always getting into mischief and sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong," Jennifer griped.

Lorne smiled back at Jenn's assessment, it was quite entertaining to watch the two of them interact… but he wasn't going to tell her that now. Lorne shuffled from one foot to the other a couple of times looking for the right words to start the conversation he'd come here to have.

He'd been gone for only thirty-six hours and yet it'd felt much longer. Evan had been dreading his return and this very conversation, yet he'd also felt the restlessness and eagerness to see her again. He needed to salvage what they had and put everything right. Then he needed to get the hell out of her room before he did anything else stupid which could potentially make things even worse.

"So… um," Lorne began, making an effort to look Jennifer in the eye. "I was completely out of line the other night."

"Its fine, Ev," she interrupted, finding the apology awkward to receive and a bit depressing at the same time. Jenn had thought she just wanted to get this over with and get back to the way things were, but now she was pretty sure that wasn't true either.

"No, it's not alright, Doc," Lorne shook his head. "I had no right to do that to you. I'm not even sure why I did." Evan knew that wasn't completely true. He'd kissed her because he'd wanted to. She'd been making light of his kiss and suddenly he'd wanted her to take notice of him. To not be able to forget him so easily, or to put him… _them_, back into the nice and neat friendship role they'd had previously.

"Okay then," Jennifer agreed, "thank you for the apology." Her emotions were beginning to overwhelm her. "I'm none the worse for wear, Evan. Really, we're good." She was holding it together for the moment, but Jennifer was worried she wouldn't be able to do so much longer if he kept trying to say he was sorry. She'd told Laura she'd be okay with everything going back to the way it'd been but now she realized it was going to be much harder than she thought.

Lorne wasn't sure what to say anymore. He'd said his piece and Jenn seemed to have accepted it. It's what he'd been hoping for, so it was probably time to go. No sense in giving himself time to screw it up again. "Well then, we'll see you in the morning," he said taking a couple steps toward her and the door.

Jennifer felt anxiety start to creep over her as she realized he was leaving. She took a step to the side to clear the path to the door for Evan. "I'm back to my normal day shifts for a while so… yes, I'll be at breakfast."

Evan now stood next to Jennifer and just inside her door, but he couldn't help his hesitation to leave. He didn't feel their conversation had cleared anything up. He was startled from his thoughts by her hand on his arm. He contemplated her delicate fingers before looking up to her worried eyes.

"Just one thing… before you leave," Jenn started. Her anxiety had grown the closer Evan had gotten to her door. "I just…," Jennifer took a deep breath, "before you go, I, uh…," before any rational thoughts could invade her mind, Jennifer leaned in and placed her lips against Evans.

Lorne paused for a second as his heart jumped. The pressure on his arm had increased as she used it for balance. Lorne kept his body completely still, surrendering to whatever was happening, while his lips moved slowly with hers. It wasn't an urgent or passionate kiss - in fact it felt almost like a question. Evan felt her begin to pull back, her hand leaving his arm. He countered her movements, leaning into her, not yet ready for the moment to end or fade.

The Major desperately wanted to deepen the kiss, but held himself in check, slowly easing away as the kiss ended. There were a few things that needed to be clarified before he'd feel right expressing himself quiet so freely.

Evan cleared his throat, noticing that Jennifer's eyes were glued to the ground. "Jenn?" he whispered.

"Sorry, Ev," Jennifer replied, her voice a bit unsteady, "I was just kind of… checking."

"Checking what?" He asked quietly, lifting her chin with his hand. He didn't want to miss any of her words.

"I don't know. It's just… a week ago I didn't know what… I mean how…" Jennifer trailed off with a light growl of frustration.

Evan felt his chest tightening as he watched the emotions racing across Jennifer's face. When he noticed the pink tinge begin to flush her face in embarrassment, he allowed a slow smile to take hold of his own expression.

"What're you smiling about?" she asked cautiously, watching his face transform as his smile grew broader. She pulled her face away from his hand, forcing him to drop his arm to his side. He had the cutest dimples when he grinned and she almost found it frustrating to see them make an appearance.

"What do you want?" Lorne asked, his eyes watching hers. There was no reason to second guess or play twenty questions. Looking down at her, standing this close to her… he just needed to know what _she_ wanted. He watched her shyly smile while her eyes took on a look of determination.

"I want you to quit apologizing for kissing me," Jenn declared calmly. When his smile didn't falter she continued, "It's hard on a girl's ego."

"Like telling a man his kiss is forgettable - _isn't_?" Evan asked, feeling his heart lighten as he saw a smirk starting to form on her face.

"I was told it wasn't a kiss," she reminded him with raised eyebrows, "just because you were obsessing about it…"

Evan took a step toward Jenn, cutting off her retort and backing her up a step. "I was late and needed to get a move on for my mission," he said by way of excuse. "It may have consumed my thoughts Doc, but not to the point of avoidance."

"There you go, obsessing some more, I was _working_, not avoiding a non-kiss accident," Jennifer couldn't help the smile on her face, but she didn't really see the need to hide it either.

"That second kiss was definitely not an accident," he reminded her as he took another step toward her.

Jennifer took another step back and found her back hitting the wall near her door. She watched the laughter dance in his eyes at her halted movement and she felt like sticking her tongue out at him like she had Laura earlier. "And yet you ran away just when it was getting good," she pointed out with a bigger grin at the look of offense upon his face.

Evan took another step forward putting him mere inches from her and wanted to gloat at her audible intake of breath. "There'll be no running away this time, no avoiding this issue and no matter what the answer… no apologies." Lorne held her gaze and lowered his voice, "What do you want?"

Jennifer felt the shiver run all the way down her spine and by the grin on his face, she knew he'd seen it too. She tried to take a deep breath, but just couldn't manage it with him so close. "I want you to shut up and kiss me," she declared.

Evan leaned in swiftly and left a quick peck upon her lips before straightening.

Jennifer growled, "That is _not_ a kiss," she said in frustration.

Evan placed his hands on the wall behind her, one on each side, effectively blocking her in as he leaned in and whispered near her ear, "Exactly." He pulled back just far enough to find her lips and with both arms he pulled her close as he kissed her passionately, making sure that she wouldn't be forgetting his kisses ever.


End file.
